Warning: This is a bummer post
Happy Easter to those who celebrate it. I called my daughter and she had been asleep, so I didn't keep her on the phone but a moment. I left my son a message and haven't heard back from him, which is par. But I'm feeling bummed for the moment.
I'm always so upbeat and happy. Most of the time. No, really it's really one of my most endearing qualities.
But most of my loved ones have lots of negative energy and that saddens me. My husband is the most absolute negative person I know. And a pessimist. And my Mother....
...for example today we were talking and I said, "Are you disappointed that I didn't plan anything special for Easter?" She says, "No, I'm used to it. And being by myself on holidays. You girls were always ripping the roads and Dad was always at the golf course."
"Ripping the roads." Her all-time favorite saying about Robin and me. I call it LIFE.
A little bit later I was talking about children and Easter egg hunts and I said "I can't wait to be a grandmother." To which she replies, "It's nothing special." I tuned the rest out and tried to polish up the balance of the conversation so as not to leave it on a sour note.
Just how long can you deflect this energy before it pierces your wall and begins to effect you?
The old me would have said, "Mother, do you realize just how negative you are? And that people probably didn't stay home because they didn't want to be around you?" And I probably have said that to her at least once. I was a hellacious teen. But for now, I'll just swallow it and smile and chalk it up to a Mother who only felt left out and hurt. sigh...