Yesterday Barack Obama was elected the 44th President of the United States and I've been so overcome with emotion that I can't stop crying. What is it with me?!
It may seem silly of me but I cried all through his acceptance speech and finally settled down and went to sleep. Again this morning I began crying every time I saw something about Obama's win or people talking about it or the replaying of his speech. I still have huge, audible sighs rolling off my shoulders-- one after the other.
I didn't realize how much I had emotionally invested in this election and the past eight years of the Bush administration. It creeps up slowly. The frustration. The heartache. Your shoulders tense up; your neck muscles tighten. You have tension headaches and day after day, month after month, year after year it culminates into an uptight ball of nerves.
I've always been empathetic; to feel others pain and be deeply moved by it. I don't talk the talk-- I walk the walk.
Since I was a teenager I've marched and protested with all the underdogs, both black and white. My kids still keep the old photos and mementos. I've felt like an underdog since I was a teenage hippie and raged against segregation, gay rights, women's rights, but I never really knew what it's like to be discriminated against. There's a massive difference between being inconvenienced and being discriminated against.
Am I being presumptuous to feel so strongly about this Obama win? I am white after all. How dare I pretend I might know how great it is for an Obama victory. I've had every benefit possible. Is it white woman's guilt? Is that what it been all these many years? Maybe if I had never cared about equality and human decency until now it would be.
I'm still trying to sort out my feelings. For now I'll just let my emotions roll off me in waves of relief and tears of joy.
I Googled can't stop crying + Obama and links flooded back in agreement.