An email I received I thought was funny.....

Investment tips for 2005 .....for all of you with any money left after the Exxon/Mobil deal and the AOL/Time Warner implode, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some big bucks. Watch for these consolidations in 2005:

1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush and W. R. Grace Co. will merge and become Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2. Polygram Records, Warner Bros. and Zesta Crackers will join forces and become Poly, Warner, Cracker.

3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and issue forth as MMMGood.

4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become ZipAudiDoDa.

5. FedEx is expected to join its major competitor, UPS, and become FedUp.

6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become Fairwell Honeychild.

7. Gray Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become Poupon Pants.

8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become Knott NOW!

9. Victoria's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name of Titty Titty Bang Bang.